Episode 35 - The Albums Of Our Lives

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Darron and Jeff each select ten albums that hold particular significance for them. They list the albums in chronological order from when they personally experienced them as important in some way, and they reflect on how they came to that particular album at that point in time, the meaning it once held for them and still might hold, how it shaped their life, relationships, and identity then and what it meant for them moving forward, and many other recollections that they associate with that particular album. This episode is by far their longest and it was an extremely fun and engaging process for both of them which in many ways represents the kind of conversation that initially bonded them together as friends almost 30 years ago. This episode also marks two Beautiful Illusions firsts in that the released conversation is the almost completely the unedited raw audio of their discussion and also in order to prevent spoilers there are very few show notes. If you want to know their ten then you have to slow down and listen.

Episode 30 - What Does It Mean To Be A Man?

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Darron and Jeff grapple with the idea of masculinity and what it means to live as a man in 2023. First they briefly touch on how masculinity is frequently discussed in the context of “toxic masculinity” and then begin to examine how they have come to understand what it means to be a man. This leads to a discussion of their relationships and experiences with their own fathers, how concepts such as masculinity might exist on a spectrum that changes over time, and how we might move forward and build a more positive and affirmative vision of masculinity. Although this conversation is very much an attempt to make meaning for themselves, it is by no means an end to their thinking on this subject, and is in fact quite the opposite - an initial conversation about a complex topic they plan on delving into more deeply in the future.

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Episode 28 - Alcohol: To Drink, Or Not To Drink?

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Darron and Jeff explore their current relationships with alcohol. As this episode was recorded a few months ago, they discuss Jeff’s experience and thoughts on his dry January attempt, how the social context of any behavior influences our participation (or non-participation) in that behavior, why we keep drinking when we know it’s not good for us, alcohol and cultural evolution, alcohol’s acceptance in both American culture and in both of our their own lived experiences, why it can be so hard to stop drinking, and how and why Darron made his decision to stop drinking back at the end of February.

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Episode 27 - A Gluten-Free Beautiful Illusion

Darron and Jeff discuss Darron's recent diagnosis and early experience with Celiac disease. They talk about what led to the diagnosis, how it impacts his identity as a bread baker both personally and socially, and how he views his personal medical needs in relation to others and the rest of the world at large. They use the example of quitting drinking as an analogue to explore the social reality of these types of life changes, whether we choose them or have them thrust upon us. Finally they talk about how amazing modern science is, the role of learning and the importance of love of learning when we suddenly find ourselves in new contexts, and how we might instill this love in young learners.

Episode 21 - The Myth of the Desert Island Self

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Darron and Jeff talk about the idea of self and how the ongoing experience we have of a stable self that moves through time is actually more of an ongoing active construct of our brains than we generally realize. They discuss their “desert island” favorites lists and use this as a jumping off point for examining what preferences say about ourselves, how these favorites are mediated by culture, the different aspects of self, how the evolution of self is culturally adaptive, how our narrative and social selves interact, and to what degree we control any of this. All along they bring in many ideas and thinkers from previous episodes in an attempt to synthesize a deeper understanding of the nature of the self.

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Episode 16 - Partisan Pizza

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Jeff and Darron explore the nature of conservatism and progressivism by looking at pizza and other food preferences. They talk about the nature of category designations, what it means to call something by a specific name, and why this can sometimes feel so important to us. They look at their own preferences and inclinations towards conservative or progressive thinking, examine where they might come from, and how they are often dependent on context. They touch on the benefits of honing an existing process versus trying new techniques and methods, the importance and drawbacks of categories and categorization, and finally how we might use an examination of our personal preferences about food to better understand the larger sociopolitical and cultural context in which we find ourselves.

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Episode 06 - What We Talk About When We Talk About Politics

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Jeff and Darron discuss how difficult it is to discuss politics and political issues, particularly with our friends and loved ones who might have views different than our own. Jeff relays a story of a recent conversation among friends gone awry, and they consider the role that emotions, identity, and cognitive biases play in our political conversations. Lastly they consider some ways in which we might have more productive conversations that help build understanding and hopefully don’t harm our relationships. This conversation was recorded a few days before the 2020 presidential election.

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Jeff and Darron discuss how difficult it is to discuss politics and political issues, particularly with our friends and loved ones who might have views different than our own. Jeff relays a story of a recent conversation among friends gone awry, and they consider the role that emotions, identity, and cognitive biases play in our political conversations.