Episode 37 - Memento Mori

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Darron and Jeff “remember death” as they explore how people process and think about death and dying differently as we move throughout the stages of our lives. They discuss how little we actually purposefully think and talk about death in a meaningful day with our family and friends, differing perspectives about death and how long we should live, how life is a temporary thing and it is all the more precious for that, how aging and experiences with the death of loved ones changes our perceptions and makes death more real to us, how we remember people who have passed, how we imagine how people might remember us after our own passing, and other connected thoughts as they process their views about the unifying experience of death and what it means for our lives.

Notes:

  • 13:07 - Read “Why I Hope to Die at 75” by Ezekiel J. Emmanuel (The Atlantic, 2014)

  • 15:21 - The opinion piece, “Why I Hope to Die at 75” by Dr. Ezekiel J. Emmanuel, was originally published in The Atlantic in 2014. In it, the oncologist, bioethicist, and worl leader in health policy, explains that he would refuse all medical interventions - even antibiotics, and vaccinations - after he turned 75 years old, believing that older Americans live too long in a deteriorating state, stating that "Doubtless, death is a loss. … But here is a simple truth that many of us seem to resist: living too long is also a loss.” Addressing his original take again in 2019, Ezekiel said that his view is "not an extreme position,” clarifying that "I'm not going to die at 75. I'm not committing suicide. I'm not asking for euthanasia, I'm going to stop taking medications with the sole justification that the medication or intervention is to prolong my life,” and he also noted that the original misleading title of the article was in fact not chosen by him but by the editors at The Atlantic. Emanuel said that he believes people would agree with him if they thought about his position, saying that when people are asked how they want to die, they often decide they want to say goodbye to their family and have "some gentle decline" in a short amount of time. "It makes perfect sense. I'm no different," says Emanuel. "I would like to maintain my vigor, my intellectual capacity, my productivity, all the way through to the end. But I think we also need to be realistic - that's not the way most of us are going to live," continuing on that “every time I talk to people, it's like, 'Oh, yeah, definitely quality of life over quantity of life.' But when push comes to shove, it's really quantity of life. 'I might be a little more confused, but I'll take that extra year!'" While Emanuel acknowledges that some people will be mentally capable and active past 75, he claims the number who continue to be active, engaged, and creative past 75 is actually very small. For more see “'Why I hope to die at 75,' revisited” (Advisory Board, 2019) and the “Dr. Emanuel discusses his personal perspective on aging” page of his personal website.

  • 17:34 - Read “The Emperor of Ice-Cream” by Wallace Stevens

  • 34:03 - Listen to the Brain Science Podcast Episode 194: "The Grieving Brain" with Mary-Frances O'Connor from March, 2022 (YouTube link)

  • 39:20 - The Lifetime Setback Game started at the Phish show on August 14th, 2009 at the Comcast Theatre in Hartford, CT when we Darron & Jeff were in their early 30’s

  • 41:04 - Read “The Tail End” post from 2015 on the Wait But Why blog

  • 54:37 - Listen the Mindscape Episode 10: Megan Rosenbloom on the Death Positive Movement from August, 2018

  • 57:50 - Darron is likely referring to this passage from Seneca: “It is likely that some troubles will befall us; but it is not a present fact. How often has the unexpected happened! How often has the expected never come to pass! And even though it is ordained to be, what does it avail to run out to meet your suffering? You will suffer soon enough, when it arrives; so look forward meanwhile to better things. What shall you gain by doing this? Time. There will be many happenings meanwhile which will serve to postpone, or end, or pass on to another person, the trials which are near or even in your very presence. A fire has opened the way to flight. Men have been let down softly by a catastrophe. Sometimes the sword has been checked even at the victim’s throat. Men have survived their own executioners. Even bad fortune is fickle. Perhaps it will come, perhaps not; in the meantime it is not. So look forward to better things.”

Episode 31 - Life, Art, & Experience: A Conversation

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Darron and Jeff have a free-form discussion that was inspired by a Bruce Springsteen concert, a Beatles song, and a subsequent text message, about the role of art in our lives and experiences - both how our experiences shape our perceptions of art, and how art shapes our experiences. They talk about children and how their interaction with art helps them develop their self concept, they talk about the feelings and emotional responses we have to art, and how art connects us to both the artist and each other while at the same time helping us to shape meaning in our lives.

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Episode 29 - Vacation Part 2: It's A Process

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Darron and Jeff follow up on a conversation they had back in November 2022 about the nature of vacations. If you haven’t heard that episode you might want to go back and listen (or maybe relisten) for context. The occasion for the conversation is Jeff’s return from a month-long summer vacation journey up and down the east coast. They discuss the general contours of Jeff’s trip, the experience of parenting while traveling with young children, Disney World, seeing and appreciating the country you live in, the terrible beauty of modern civilization, instant gratification culture, and the value of seeing ourselves engaged in processes as opposed to experiencing outcomes.

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Episode 28 - Alcohol: To Drink, Or Not To Drink?

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Darron and Jeff explore their current relationships with alcohol. As this episode was recorded a few months ago, they discuss Jeff’s experience and thoughts on his dry January attempt, how the social context of any behavior influences our participation (or non-participation) in that behavior, why we keep drinking when we know it’s not good for us, alcohol and cultural evolution, alcohol’s acceptance in both American culture and in both of our their own lived experiences, why it can be so hard to stop drinking, and how and why Darron made his decision to stop drinking back at the end of February.

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Episode 27 - A Gluten-Free Beautiful Illusion

Darron and Jeff discuss Darron's recent diagnosis and early experience with Celiac disease. They talk about what led to the diagnosis, how it impacts his identity as a bread baker both personally and socially, and how he views his personal medical needs in relation to others and the rest of the world at large. They use the example of quitting drinking as an analogue to explore the social reality of these types of life changes, whether we choose them or have them thrust upon us. Finally they talk about how amazing modern science is, the role of learning and the importance of love of learning when we suddenly find ourselves in new contexts, and how we might instill this love in young learners.

Episode 22 - What is Life?

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Jeff and Darron attempt to define life, at least as they see it - not necessarily in the scientific sense, but in the subjective and qualitative realm of everyday experience as a conscious entity living in a specific place and time in the history of the universe. They begin with a discussion of the awe inspiring unlikelihood of our own specific existence, move from there into the philosophical realm of absurdity and farce, Jeff explores his struggle to balance the long and short term implications of a home improvement project, and they close with a look at how meaning is derived from the connective tissue of the mundane everyday events that comprise the majority of our lives in between more memorable moments.

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